I Don’t Know Who You Are Anymore

Sometimes, I write songs that just stick with me. Songs that I write with no real idea of where they’re going to fit in terms of albums, but I play them at the occasional gig, I practice it every once in a while, and I get it stuck in my head all the time. These are my magic songs. This song, I Don’t Know Who You Are Anymore, is one of those songs.

I say that purely because I wrote this song when I was 13 and broken. I am now 16, so this song has held on long enough to be released three years later, once I’ve healed. I remember the day I wrote this song, even though I wrote it before I started marking the date I wrote my songs so I don’t know the actual date lol. I also remember playing it to my mum the first time. As soon as I stopped playing, the only thing she said was “I think I can guess who this is about lol”. Pretty funny if you ask me. I have written a lot of songs about many people, but most of them aren’t as specific as this one, so even though I personally love this song with all my heart, I find it pretty hilarious that so many people in my life will be able to pick who this song is about.

I initially wrote this song as a piano ballad – super slow and emotional and definitely a tear jerker. But, when I was putting together a list of songs I was going to record in the studio, I just knew that I wanted this song to be more rocky and angry sounding. The version that you will listen to when you stream my song is version two, but I will still always love the original version on the piano. (I have quite the sweet spot for the acoustic versions of all of my songs ahaha).


One thing I would like to say about this song is: for me, it isn’t a heartbreak song. Music is so powerful because it can be interpreted in so many ways, but I will personally never see this as a “omg we broke up and I’m so sad about it” song. I see it as a “that was a horrible relationship and you suck, I’m just upset that I put myself through that” song. That’s one of the reasons I wanted Nirvana inspired production for this song, but other than wanting a less sad sound, I just really love electric guitars. Turning this song from angry to sad was also a similar story to my experience of healing, going from sad to bitter. I don’t feel any pain anymore though because I turned an awful experience into art, and that is beautiful.

My main hope for this song is that someone out there relates to it, feels connected to it, understands it like I wrote it. The only thing I want to accomplish with my songs is making someone feel understood with my lyrics.

I really hope you enjoy my song <3

Kaiyah Mercedes