The story of New Year’s Resolutions
We all know that strange, nostalgic, exciting feeling of counting down to midnight on the last day of the year. That feeling of togetherness and new beginnings as the calendar resets, and sharing that moment with friends can be one of the best feelings ever. But, bad things happen to people all the time, and the chemicals in our brain like to betray us. A feeling that should be so joyous, when paired with loneliness and sadness and heartache, is a feeling like no other. That is what New Year’s Resolutions is about.
I still remember writing this song. I remember that it was in lockdown, I had been inside all day, and I sat down at the piano close to midnight feeling the need to write a song. It all started with the line ‘breakfast in bed on the weekends’. I didn’t know where the story was going, or what it was going to be about at all, but I had this image of a person reflecting on the simplicity of love with someone they are no longer with. I continued writing, and it evolved into a party scene, having fun with friends with that same person you once loved and the friends you once shared.
Each chorus has its own sadness to it. I wanted to make each lyric convey the pain and loneliness that this person I had created felt, but it all ends with making a toast despite everything. Sometimes we like to hide our feelings in attempt to enjoy a moment, or because we think that our emotion is a burden to those around us, so we fake a smile and carry on by going to parties and laughing with friends. Sometimes, faking happiness can make everything hurt so much worse.
The bridge of this song is one of the bridges I am most proud of. I honestly have no idea how I came up with those words, but each line brings a new layer to this grief of lost love, and this longing for something that is no longer yours, and how when you picture the future, you picture them in it. It all kind of came out of nowhere, shocking me as I wrote it all down. Even though this story is not based off personal experience, I still feel so emotional singing that bridge because the pain just hits me every single time. It’s so hard to convey longing like that in normal words, and I think the instrumentation paired with my lyrics (at least for me) really hits me deep in my heart.
That is the power of music: the ability to feel something even if you haven’t gone through it yourself. But, I also hope that this song reaches someone out there who feels the pain of this song, and hears my words, and knows that they are understood. The grief of lost love is something I have experienced, I just wrote a narrative around that feeling. A person standing amidst a new year’s celebration, around friends and strangers, hoping they show up but they never do. It’s the hoping they might change their mind, but they never do. It’s all the pain of any heartbreak put into a story.
I really tried to bring this vision to life in the creation of my music video for this song. My director, Adam, completely grasped the concept instantly and helped me bring to life this story. I honestly had the time of my life filming the video. Seeing myself on camera for the first time was something out of a dream, and it was such a beautiful thing seeing all of my friends in the video too. Everyone who was part of the music video making process is so completely awesome and I will never be able to thank you enough.
To everyone who has ever supported me – I love you. Never forget it.
Kaiyah Mercedes
